Yesterday was an end to what was a progressively bad relationship between my son and his 17 year old son. It's a long story...but to make it short...my son treats that boy like he's just some neighbor kid that gets on his nerves. I have been watching this for the last three years and my heart has broken many times watching my son inflict pain on this innocent child. Yesterday my son said the only words a parent should never ever say to their child...and I don't care how old that child gets. He said. "I am turning my back on you." I was devastated so I can only imagine what my grandson felt. As I write this I am hearing my son say that over and over and over.
A little background on my son and his children. He left the 17 year olds mother when the boy was 4. They maintained a close relationship until my grandson was 8 and then things started to dwindle. Visits slowed down to almost nothing. My grandson spent all his weekends with me. You might ask why and the reason is simple. My son had another child when the first child was 7. A girl, so he forgot about the boy. Two years later he had another child, a boy. Now the 10 year old isn't allowed to even see me because his mother is so damn messed up in the head...anyway, I fought her tooth and nail and my grandson was allowed to start spending the weekends with me again.
Speed up to when my grandson is 15.
I moved to Florida in 2007 and then my son followed me (in 2008) with the two little ones. Then 3 years ago my grandson came to live with his father...why? Because of his parents not giving a shit what he did or who he did it with, he was headed straight to jail. His father acted like it was the best thing in the world to have the boy here with him. But in just a few weeks that all reverted back to the remarks that hurt to the core. The blaming him for things that he had done in the past. Why did he do those things? Because his parents were assholes. Anyway, my son doesn't see his part in this. SO, I want the boy to live with me until he finishes school. I just want him to graduate.
I am going to have to make a decision to leave my son alone. He puts the two little ones ahead of his 17 year old and I have had enough. He refuses to buy the boy his school supplies and clothes. He refuses to pay his $35.00/mo. cell phone bill but pays for the 10 year olds cell phone. And that's $55.00/mo. What's wrong with that picture? Everything if you ask me. My grandson left behind his older sister and his other grandmother and aunts and cousins...his whole family is back there and he needs to be able to stay in contact with them. So now. ME...on a very low fixed income is going to have to take on the expense of taking care of him.
I am starting to think that something is mentally wrong with my son. How can he put those two little ones ahead of his first born? And it's not like I'm asking him to treat him better than them...just treat the kids all the same...like you love him too.
I did not raise my son like this. I understand 100% that when we grow up we have our own opinions and we have our own ways of doing things. But, we bring with us into adulthood all the things we were taught as children. My son has brought nothing but blame for me being poor and not being able to give him the best of everything. He blames me for imaginary things too. Like he went hungry many times when he was little. That!!!! Is one great big lie. He never ever went hungry. We always had food but he wanted more food because he's a damn pig. I have taken the blame for everything getting messed up and making mistakes but my son was always first...ALWAYS! He was my pride and joy and I think that's where I went wrong. I was so blind to the fact that he was turning into a self righteous, pompous asshole. Somehow I overlooked his transition from a sweet little boy into this condescending asshole that thinks he's right about everything and no one else has a say so...even when he's yelling and screaming that I did him wrong!
My heart is broken...again! And if I have my way it will be the last time he does this to me. He has tried to destroy his son but I am going to do my best to get that boy away from his father once and for all!
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