How is it I always manage to fall into situations that are so soul sucking? I try to do what's right. I try to help people out. I try! And what do I get for all this trying? Kicked right in the ass! Every single time.
It doesn't matter what I want or that I ask for respect. My son does not teach his kids that they have to respect other peoples property. His 10 year old goes right into someones house and touches whatever she wants to. She empties full cans of AXE body spray just because she thinks she can. She pours cologne down the drain just because she thinks she can. She breaks things and after all of this she says. "I don't know why I did it." OR and this is the one that sets my brain on fire..."I didn't do that." The eight year old has anger problems. If he asks to do something and you say no he loses his mind. And when I say loses his mind...I'm NOT kidding. He then proceeds to ask over and over again without a break between the words, "Why can't I ______?" Over and over and all the while he is getting so angry that he will attack you if you don't watch out. There is something wrong. Seriously wrong.
I am helping my son out by watching his kids while he's working but I have a dislocated hip that is so painful I have trouble thinking about anything else. The pain has taken over my life and forced me into a mindset that clearly is capable of hurting someone. I can't walk, I limp, badly! I can't sit in a chair for more than an hour before I'm ready to scream. I can't lay down because there is no comfortable position for me. And dealing with all this I am having to be constantly assaulted with screaming and fits and being told "I don't have to listen to you."
I am going to have to tell my son I can't do it any more. I am not mentally or physically capable of dealing with the out of control kids that he doesn't discipline. He tells the ten year old girl that she is the most responsible of all the kids...*clears throat*...there is a seventeen year old that is cooking and cleaning up after the two that don't have a single chore at all. He watches them and makes sure they take their showers. He makes sure they are in bed at the right time. And the ten year old is the most responsible???? What the heck did I miss?
I have seen parents play favorites but come on now....my son shows blatant favoritism. He chastises and belittles the seventeen year old in front of the two younger kids so guess what???? They don't show him any respect. He actually chastises me in front of them so guess what???? They don't have any respect for me either.
He doesn't seem to care that I can't walk. Sometimes it hurts so bad I just want to cry but does he think about me getting ready to go. Going outside and getting into the Jeep. Driving to his house. Getting out of the Jeep. Walking into his house. Laying on his couch till it's time to go home then getting up and going out to the Jeep. Driving home. Getting out of the Jeep and then walking into my house. All of this causing severe pain. Every single movement I do hurts. EVERY ONE!!!! There is nothing that is not involved with pain. Pain has seeped in so deep that I think that's all I have left. When you live with chronic pain you start thinking differently. When you live with chronic pain you start to become depressed and when you are depressed you don't want to deal with two kids that are out of control.
I have to do something to save what little sanity I have left! And the first thing I have to do is stop babysitting for those two brats.
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